Monday, February 8, 2010

It's a two way street...

I have been so blessed by the ability to nurse my little one. My whole life, the idea of something attaching to my boob for nourishment really freaked me out. But then my pregnancy hormones kicked in and I couldn't imagine not at least attempting to provide her with nature's baby food.

And it has been beautiful... and trying. Precious and tiresome. Trial and Error. And finally everything clicked. We were a machine. Coming home from work and having an excuse to hold her in my arms, that close for that long just makes my heart fill up.

But turns out my heart is all that is filling up these days. On the brink of 6 months, the land of milk and honey is drying up. We've gone from a fabulous 6 ounces to a meager 3... which is not enough for Chunk.

I tried working through it. Nursing a little more often - but she was just fighting mad every time she got done feeding. So, I broke down.

Erin got her first bottle of breastmilk/formula mixture last week. (All organic formula)

And I BROKE DOWN. I thought I was ok with it. Then I got home, and she smelled different. That was all she wrote. I cried for 15 minutes.

Then Friday night at typical last-of-the-day feeding she finished and was not asleep and inconsolable. And I cried as I warmed up a bottle and watched hubs feed her.

So we are officially weening. And I think it is more of a process for mommy than baby. I didn't realize it would be a two way street but it is. And life goes on.

(And I am pretty sure that now I am having a mini menopause bc NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THE HORMONES!)

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